Comparison Is The Thief of Joy

Comparison. Something I didn’t realize was in my heart until a few years ago.

Comparison is emotional

Comparison is painful

Comparison is ugly

I could go on and on with quotes you’ve probably already read about comparison and how it negatively effects you and the person you are comparing yourself to, but I won’t. Instead, I will talk about my own journey with this trait and why Psalm 139:14 means so much to me.

I’ve always struggled with comparison. I have an older brother who I look alike and nearly every teacher I had growing up would notice us because of our looks and Zupon really isn’t that common of a last name. In my eyes, and a lot of other’s eyes, he was close to flawless. He was smart, so kind and athletic and everyone literally everyone seemed to love him. Looking back, I didn’t thank him enough for setting a good example for me and making sure I had a somewhat easier time with teachers. Still to this day when I am back home and I am out at a store i still get “hey aren’t you Mikie’s little sister.” It wasn’t until 7th grade in middle school band, when I was struggling with scales on the clarinet, and my teacher said “these scales are so easy, why can’t you get it just like your brother” and Mikie’s sister was the last person I wanted to be, but I still loved him and deep down I wanted to be like him. I wanted to be smart, kind, and athletic like him, but deep down I knew that would never be the case. I was trying to be someone who was already someone.

I vaguely remember 7th grade D-NOW weekend in youth group, but there are several things I do remember. I remember finding a love for chips and dip that weekend, I remember playing a game called Quelf with a group of girls that shortly became my best of friends (sitting in a bathtub will do that to you, am I right Hannah? lol) and I remember coming across the bible verse Psalm 139:14. “I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” I don’t remember why we were talking about it but I remember that verse really hitting me in the heart and I didn’t know why until a few years ago.

Flash forward to a few years ago. I had gotten married, kinda started to figure out what I wanted career wise and I had just started getting into health and fitness, and comparison was and still is everywhere. I wanted to buy a house like other’s I knew. I wanted a full time salary job right then and there. I wanted the flat stomach and muscles like all these “influencers” I saw on social media. Again in my life I wanted to be someone who was already someone and that verse that so dearly touched my heart grabbed a hold of my heart and slapped me right in the face. That verse reminds me every day that I am fearfully and wonderfully made perfect the way I am. God, who created the universe, the beautiful beaches I saw in san diego the breathtaking mountains I look at everyday also created me, perfect and wonderful. He didn’t make me to look like someone else or be someone else. He didn’t make me to be a beach or a mountain or any person I compare myself to. He made me, me. He made me as Abi, He made me to not compare myself to others and made me to praise Him for being perfect in His image.

Comparison has been an ongoing battle for me and when I’m really down on myself I cling hard to this verse. I also remember that wanting things and moving on to the next step in life is not always beneficial. If you have a constant mindset of once you have love you will be happy or once you buy a house you will be happy or once you have the flat stomach you will be happy, you are always going to be chasing after something and never happy. But once you learn to grow and love right where you are, as who you are and not comparing yourself to anyone else then that is where real joy comes from. Don’t let comparison take that from you.

As Always,

Abi